This year is quite different.

It has been August, but I did not write any resolution plan for the year.

It may be caused by the time constraint on how busy I am this year. But to be honest, it is more likely caused by Sintia's confusion of what she can do after graduating master's degree. Poor her!

***

Actually, do not call me Sintia if I do not have a wild dream to be achieved.

Of course, I have a lot of things to be achieved after completing master's degree. I have resolution plan for the year in my deepest heart,

However, the more mature I am, I know that I cannot make a decision by myself. My decision will impact my lovely family too.

We face many big questions life choice in this year. One of them:

"Stay in Japan or Back to Indonesia?"

One question but lead to many uncertainties to what I can do after this.

***

In new year's eve this year,  I was just coming back from my trip to the North of Japan.

At that time, we had decided to have 60% possibility to come back to Indonesia. Quite clear to go back, but there is still big possibility to stay in Japan.

To be honest, I found myself more ready to execute my resolution plan if we decide to go back to Indonesia. But, I am not here alone. I prioritize my husband's career than I am. Too much patriarchy I know, but I cannot deny that our togetherness is the basic principle of my life. I can adjust wherever he goes.

To be honest, this is my resolution:

#1 Resolution: Working inline with my passion

Yaa I want to work after I graduate from master's degree. As I am passionate in accounting & finance, and would like to work using my full capacity of critical thinking, I want to work as an accounting/finance consultant, financial analyst, or lecturer.

But those dreams will be impossible to be achieved if I stay in Japan. Because of language constraints. Also ability constraints *so sad*.

I was thinking to go to doctoral degree if I have to stay in Japan. But to be honest, it is a 'give-up' option in my case. I do not have working experience enough to go to doctoral degree, so I cannot ensure myself to be a good doctoral student if I straightforward pursuing doctoral-degree after graduation.

#2 Wanna start a 'real' family

I still have classic definition of 'Real' family. 'Real' family means you live with your husband and children. Even I know living with your pet can mean your family too, but it cannot be my option since I am afraid to every kind of animals :(

We did not plan to have baby for the past 3 years of our marriage life.

Still feel that I am not ready with the big responsibility. We think we will be mature enough to have one after I complete master degree.

But hey. Having a children cannot be year resolution you know. You cannot control about it.

You may control to have pregnancy program, but the rest is the God's blessings.

However, even I have a dream to start having baby. I am still worried about this resolution.

I said that I wanna start new career in my first resolution, but how come I decide to start having a baby at the same time?

***

Those 2 things I mention is dream actually. Not a resolution.

But I cannot come with clear resolution when I do not know how my life will bring me this year and afterward.

I only have 2 dreams I want to achieve, but I have a lot of questions in each dreams I make.

How can I say it loudly in the beginning of the year. While actually I also question myself how come I can have a 'contradictory' dream at the same time.

In August, I have more courage to say my resolution louder. Yaa because I have known the answer now so I am more confidence to write my resolution (dream)~.

It is fraud btw: to mention your resolution after you know that you can have more possibility to achieve it. I do not care tho :p

Good luck for the remaining 5 months ahead!

A more challenge to go. Wish me luck

Best regards,

Sintia